The Perils of Co-Parenting Over Summer Vacation
May 22, 2025
As summer nears and schools begin to dismiss for the season, kids’ excitement is palpable. Anticipation buzzes as they think ahead to the next few months without early morning alarms, homework, and the rigors of their schoolyear routine.
Summer vacation can be a huge relief to parents, too, offering an opportunity to relax the reins on weekly schedules and activities in exchange for long, lazy summer days. Although, the change of pace can actually have the opposite effect on co-parents, creating anxiety and stress as they anticipate the upcoming changes summer brings to their parenting plan.
For co-parents in Texas, summer vacation triggers a seasonal schedule change to parenting plans. The detailed weekly schedule of the school year provides a comforting routine and consistency for parents and kids. When school dismisses for the summer, though, all of the comfort in knowing what to anticipate from day-to-day is disrupted.
Pre-empting potential issues by making plans and preparations will help reduce anxiety and make the summer fun and meaningful for kids and co-parents alike. Here are some helpful ways to identify and plan for potential summer issues for co-parents.
Shifting Schedules
“We humans are creatures of habit and we thrive when life is predictable, when we’ve settled into a comfortable routine,” observed parenting author Ann Douglas in her article Summer Parenting Challenges as published on her website https://www.anndouglas.net/.
With school no longer filling children’s days, the blank canvas of long summer days is initially exciting. However, the openness of summer can create anxiety and become overwhelming in anticipation for children and parents alike. To combat this, co-parents must examine and reflect on their daily routines during the school-year and see what aspects can continue throughout the summer. This practice creates consistency and routine for kids, so even with relaxed daily schedules, they can bridge the transition from their school schedule to their relaxed summer schedule by continuing daily routines and activities that were ever-present during the school year. This is easily accomplished by establishing a summer schedule that keeps as many aspects from their regular school day routine while also creating new routines to keep for the summer. For example, establishing set mealtimes and activity time blocks (morning swimming, after lunch reading & rest, etc.) that remain consistent through the summer will be a comforting routine for children. They will know what to do first, next, and what comes later. This method is helpful for parents, too, in that they can plan accordingly their own days and parenting time.
It is also very important to have open communication with your co-parent regarding travel and vacation plans, camp dates and locations, and transitions between homes. Agreeing to these kinds of details in advance of the summer will help reduce conflict and confusion for everyone.
Change in Parenting Time
Summer is not all doom and gloom, though, and can be a wonderful and exciting time for co-parents. The non-primary parent is entitled under the law to extended time with their kids over the summer. In a standard possession order, the default visitation plan in Texas, the non-primary parent is entitled to an extended 30-day period with their kids over the summer. If that parent lives over 100 miles from the kids’ primary home, that time frame extends to 42 days. That parent has options, too, with how that extended period looks (all at once or divided up to two separate long visits). This gives the non-primary parent extensive quality time to pour into their relationship with their kids, and presents the opportunity to travel, engage in long-term projects together, and just do life together without having to constantly worry about when the kids’ need to go back to their other home.
In order to take full advantage of this extended time, co-parents must pay special attention to when and how they must inform the other parent of when and how they choose to spend their summer parenting time. The rules regarding notice and providing information to the other parent are specific and required, so make sure to review the rules in your court order before April 1st of the same year, so you can take full advantage of that special extra time with your kids.
It is also very important to maintain structure for the kids during your parenting time. Kids, too, thrive on predictability. The more consistent the kids’ daily schedule can remain, including screen times, bedtimes, mealtimes, etc., the more relaxed and consistent your kids’ behaviors will be over the summer.
Lean on your Support Network
Without the rigors of school, summer grants us extra time to spend with those important to us. For kids, this means more play time with their friends and also more time to spend with extended family and family friends. As co-parents during the school year, transitions between homes, school and extra-curricular activities often do not leave a lot of extra time for much else. The freedom and flexibility of being out of school lets co-parents lean on these special people in their kids’ lives. Join forces while also having fun! Look for ways to collaborate with extended family and other parents for activities and resources, so co-parents can have fun while also feeling supported.
This can also look like partnering with your kids to seek out their personal goals and ideas for a fun summer. Just because they are children does not mean they don’t have great ideas that can be beneficial and valuable for everyone. Working together with your kids to facilitate their ideas will give them agency over their ideas while providing opportunities to gain independence and pride by turning their ideas into a reality.
In closing, Nora Sparks words resonate so strongly: "Families can make the most of summers by taking time. Be together. Laugh. It's a time to create memories. It's a time where you can try new things -- where you can be really present with your kids. You might not be able to be with them all the time, but, when you are, be present." Nora Sparks is the CEO of the Vanier Institute of the Family in Ottawa, Canada.
